My Humps
written(?) and performed by the Black Eyed Peas

Where you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then Donna
Karan, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin'
Fly gearrr but I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass 'n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't taken
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating.

My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Lets spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can't touch it,
If u touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps x3
In the back and in the front.
My lovin' got u,
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me.

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon' do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I'ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She's got me spendin'.
Spendin all your money on me and spendin' time on me
She's got me spendin'.
Spendin' all your money on me, on me, on me.

Oh yeah. Nothing is hotter than a chick with pee stains on her pants singing about her "lady lumps." Now if you'll excuse me, I need to hurl. Oh, but before I go, someone please tell me WHAT THE F**K ARE LADY LUMPS?!? Seriously.

I have not written anything in several days. I haven't written anything interesting in at least several weeks. Don't expect that trend to change. I don't have any excuses, except that I am plum out of material. I have not done anything of consequence in a long time. Yes, I had a tremendous weekend with my girlfriend two weeks ago (and another one planned for this weekend), but there's not much about that which I care to share (or which any of you would really care to read, I'm guessing). I'm still going to the gym, but nothing interesting happens at the gym between 5:30 am and 7 am. The only thing of note is the proclivity of some people to drink Starbucks coffee while they are working out. I'm not sure what is going on there. I guess they need the caffeine for a morning pick-me-up, but it seems like an odd choice for a workout beverage (insert your own joke about "feeling the burn" here). Not as odd as my ol' friend Joe's habit of drinking a Beam and ginger (heavy on the Beam, light on the ginger ale) in between sets on his Bowflex, though.

I would write something about what a judgmental doofus David Bernstein (did you know he teaches law at GMU?) is, but (1) I would have to admit to reading Bernstein (though to be fair, I went to his post through a link on Amber's site) and (2) he's not worth it. I'll only mention that just because YOU don't like a fashion trend, or just because a fashion trend doesn't have what you deem to be a functional purpose (I suppose he doesn't buy into fashion for fashion's sake) doesn't mean that it is somehow morally objectionable that other people like it. Nor does it mean that other people should be prohibited from expressing an alternative view. It's bad enough when DB does this with criticisms of Israel, but it makes me want to puke when he dabbles in the world of fashion. That is not to say that the blogosphere doesn't need a voice for reasonable fashion (and it's not this guy), but with Scott operating under radio silence, I just hope we find someone to turn to besides Professor Intolerance.

Moving on to less irritating and possibly more interesting topics, the newly-released iPod Nano ($249), weighing in at 1.5 ounces, will hold 1,000 songs. I want one. In black, please.

Kristine expresses shock at the latest designee as a New Classic on TNT: The Replacements. It's what they call in law school a "flexible standard" or, as Jerry Seinfeld put it, "I don't know how official any of these rankings really are."

In the wake of Katrina, E. McPan has apparently abandoned her pursuit of a legal career in favor of a career as a graphic artist slash crazy cat lady. I don't know about the pay, but I am sure the hours are better.

Allison has posed some questions about date movies:

1. What are the five best date movies?

I don't know about "best," but four good date movies are: Wedding Crashers, Amelie, Love Actually and To Catch a Thief.

2. Did you and your significant other see a movie on your first date? If so, did things work out partially because of, or despite the movie choice?

I recently saw Wedding Crashers on a first date. Things worked out regardless of the movie, but it didn't hurt to see a movie that we both loved. I echo BTD Greg's comment: "You underestimate how smitten and persistent I was at the time. I don't think a bad movie would have doomed us."

3. Got any movie date horror stories ("I was going to propose, but then I took her to see Deuce Bigalow and she wouldn't speak to me again...")?

The first movie I saw on a "date" (I was unaware of the date status of the evening at the time) was "Born on the Fourth of July" - an Oliver Stone flick about an angry, disabled Vietnam vet doesn't exactly set the stage for a romantice evening. It's more like the kind of movie you watch while you lift weights and sip a double espresso.

I'll be offline for a few days, so I thought I would toss a few items up here and see what sticks.

1. SCOTUSBlog reports that the Supreme Court has issued an order reallocating Circuit Justice responsibilities in light of the death of Chief Justice Rehnquist. Shockingly, they didn't link to my post earlier this summer discussing Circuit Justice responsibilities and offering some thoughts on reassignment. Of course, this order is just a holdover until new Justice(s) are in place.

2. I'm not sure what to make of news that officials in New Orleans might forcibly remove citizens from the damaged city. Or maybe they won't. The obvious questions is, If they're so sure they could make everyone get out, why didn't they do it before Hurricane Katrina hit? I've been spending so much time online looking at coverage of the hurricane that I'll never be able to find a link for this, but I saw a mention of a poll back when the last big hurricane was aiming at New Orleans. The numbers were roughly 50% saying they would evacuate, with 25% saying they couldn't leave (as in didn't have the means), and 25% saying they wouldn't leave. My guess is that a higher percentage did leave for Katrina, but that the numbers of "couldn't" and "wouldn't" were probably roughly equal to each other. Now, I'm not going to make some argument about how we should let the "wouldn't" crew fend for themselves. But we should keep it in mind when we hear people acting as if everyone left in New Orleans is a "couldn't." I'm not sure how it changes things, but I just wanted to note it.

3. Another thing about Katrina. I'm so sure that there won't be any problems with this plan to give displaced persons $2000 debit cards. You know, because everything the government has done up till now has run so smoothly. Seriously, this thing has the potential to be another mess. They're giving the cards out on a one-per-household basis, which means that single people make out like bandits, but big families get less per capita. I don't know if we need Kenneth Feinberg tackling this, but I'm not convinced a one-size-fits-all approach is the best one. Also, the potential for fraud or abuse seems high, especially because I doubt the government wants to be seen as being really stingy if someone doesn't have all his paperwork in order. (That is, they would rather give out $2000 to someone who doesn't deserve it than deny $2000 to someone who does. And they would so much rather do it that the chances of it happening are strong.) Also, these cards would be a lot better loot than a waterlogged television.

4. One last thing about Katrina. It really chaps me to see these media folks acting all "I am so outraged and I won't rest till I get some answers!" It's as if they suddenly discovered that asking hard questions to people in power is something they're allowed to do. Honestly, what does it say about these media personalities (I hesitate to call them "journalists") that one of the few with the credibility to pull this off is Geraldo Rivera?

5. Movie recommendations. Evenhand and Limbo and, for the fans of his work, An Evening with Kevin Smith.

I promise, I really do have a decent idea or two for posts. I just haven't had time to write them. September is turning out to be a very busy month for me. I'll catch up soon. With all these other bloggers quitting, I figure, eventually you'll have to read me because there won't be anyone else left!

UPDATE: Oh, yeah. I wanted to leave you with this line from bluesman Lightnin' Hopkins, from a song in which he is running after the woman who is leaving him, driving away is his Cadillac: "Rubber on wheel is faster/ Than rubber on heel." Indeed. May all your rubber be rapid.

I don't know a lot about the seafood fishing industry, but I do know I like eating seafood. I've been worried to see scattered reports that Katrina could level the Gulf shrimp and oyster harvests. One problem is simply the lack of workers and boats and refrigerated warehouses, all along the Gulf coast. Another is the runoff of toxic water receding from flooded areas through wetlands. Is there any way to ensure I'm ordering safe shrimp? Not surprisingly, the Louisiana Shrimp Association says imported shrimp is unsafe.

Note that if you like catfish and crawfish, you may be facing the same dilemma. Fans of crab may be in better shape, but it was surprising to me that 25,000 pounds of crab fly flew from New Orleans to Maryland every day. That strikes me as nearly blasphemous, like Florida importing oranges or something. Those of you who drink coffee won't like to hear this: "New Orleans, one the nation's biggest coffee ports, holds about 8% of the world's supply, and coffee industry experts predicted that the loss of the tens of thousands of tons stored there would take a year to replace. Coffee contracts have risen 11% this week in New York trading." And, see this story for a snapshot of some other extractive industries that might be affected, and note that with so many downed trees, timber prices are likely to fall.

Here is a nice collection of stories about Katrina's impact on food. As upset as I am about the shrimpers, I am beside myself over news that chicken prices will rise. Longtime readers who have heard me tout the wonders of Bojangle's and Chick-fil-A know that this will affect me more than rising oil prices.

Of course, even if I face a near future of no shrimp and expensive chicken, at least I won't go hungry. My donation is working to ensure that others can say the same.