1. I saw that Jessica Simpson is going to play Daisy Duke in the upcoming "Dukes of Hazzard" movie, opposite Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville as Bo and Luke, respectively. I can see it now. Bo: "Dude, where's the General Lee?" Luke: "I blew it up trying to use sticks of dynamite to light my farts." Daisy: "Wait a minute...is the car in the Army? I don't get it."

2. I saw that ESPN has apparently decided to move all their chat wraps to their premium, subscription-only "Insider" section. To this I say "boo." This is the only way I'm able to keep up with all the "why don't you respect us?" rants at the likes of Ivan Maisel, Trev Alberts, and the inimitable Beano Cook. Rest assured, BTQ will never have any premium content. Uh, maybe that didn't come out the way I meant it.

3. I finally had an hour or so of semi-reliable internet access the other night, and decided to update my Match.com profile to reflect my new city. Three observations. (a) There are more attractive women here than in my old city. I haven't sent any emails yet because I'm waiting to get my profile pictures straightened out and I'm trying to refine my search parameters. (b) Amazingly, I saw a woman in my new search who was also in my searches in Old City. I guess she's just moved here too. Funny coincidence. To pre-empt, no, I don't have any plans to email her. Yes, she falls within my broad outlines, but she doesn't really jump off the screen at me. Plus, I think it would sound odd, to the point of stalkerish, to send an email saying, "I used to ogle you in Old City too!" This would be especially true if I'm not within her searches, and thus wouldn't even recognize the coincidence. Now, if her searches did include me, and she sent me an email, I would respond, but I won't initate that in this case. (c) Folks, here's a tip. The arm-and-neck-strecthed-as-far-as-they-will-go-so-you-can-take-a-picture-of-yourself-with-your-cell-phone pose just isn't that flattering. It tends to draw a lot of attention to one's chin, unless you hold the phone up more, which usually ends up giving us a lot of arm in the shot. Bite the bullet and ask someone else to take a picture, like I did, an event Fitz-Hume probably won't let me live down.

4. Speaking of dating, the female co-clerks here have long-term boyfriends, so I don't foresee any interoffice dating. One of them I find very, very pretty, and I also get the feeling she's my kind of gal, so I'm especially pained about her being spoken for. But it's probably for the best. The other clerks and I did spend some time today talking about how hard it is to find someone to date, and discussed my "type" a little, so I'm going to get them thinking about finding me someone.

5. Two of my co-clerks were talking about a gym at which they're both members. The girl said that it was pretty crowded when she went the night before because that was when the [local pro sports team] cheerleaders were working out. The guy replied that the gym's major selling point when he went to join was that the cheerleaders work out there. I just found that funny. I don't think I'll be joining because I don't like crowds, and unless one of the cheerleaders offers to spot me, it's not like I'd have any interaction with them. I'm not going to pay a huge fee after a selling point of "watch hot girls get sweaty" unless there's a chance of a lap dance being involved.